Sadness

I am crying and feeling sick to my stomach because I just stepped on and broke a Christmas ornament. If it had been any other one I probably wouln't have cared, but it was one that my advisor at Ricks gave me.

The Christmas tree up in the Agronomy building is all decorated in John Deere and Farmall tractors lights and ornaments. I LOVED that tree. I used to study by it every day. When I was helping Sister Zollinger take it down Brother Blaser walked by and gave me one of the little Farmall tractors. I managed to keep it for eight years and not lose it or break it until now. I guess eight years was more than could be expected from me anyways.

But it was one of the only things that I had that reminded me of Ricks and I loved Ricks. It was my favorite school. I loved Brother Blaser and Brother Willis and Brother Stephens and Sister Zollinger and moving sprinkler pipe and breaking farm equipment and riding around on the four wheeler and grading my own tests and trying to get my points back on tests that I graded and cleaning oil buckets and being insanely busy. I miss all the class field trips to Big Juds. And the work lunches at Gringos.

There was one day where I broke eight different things, the last one being the combine right as a storm was coming in. And then let my teacher's car get soaked in the rain. And then I asked if I could go home. When Brother Willis asked why I wanted to go I said that I didn't want to break anything else. He said none of them were my fault..then I remembered I didn't shut his sun roof. They never got mad at me, though. That day I was walking home crying and a guy came out of the building just next to the agronomy building. He saw me and asked if I wanted a ride home. I said yes and then he asked me what was wrong. So I told him in great detail. It took a while because there were lots of things that went wrong. He then reminded me that he had no idea where he was taking me. It was kind of funny in its own little sad way.

A few days later I jack-knifed the baler in front of the entire Madison cross-country team. That was embarrassing.

I would always ask Brother Blaser why he didn't fire me. He would ask me if I wanted him to fire me and I would say no. Then he would ask me if I was learning anything and I would say yes. He was one of the greatest advisors of all time. And I should know; I had the three best.